Marriage, they say, is a noble institution, and everyone should have a go at it, at least once in life (in India, this would be during the monsoon or even winter, though we wouldn't recommend you combine its joys with the festivities of the New Year).

It's noble because it does wonders to a person, especially guys. Girls, of course, remain largely unchanged (except in degree) because their influence is always stronger. If they were good before marriage, they become even better, if possible. If they were bad, they turn out to be real shrews.

But with guys, the change is very perceptible. The expression – 'to become a new man' – was coined, we hear, after one of the first cavemen decided to instutionalise the union at the behest of his cavewoman, whose idea it originally was. Soon after the marriage took place, he found himself transitioning very quickly from wearing leaves to donning tree bark, and using latex to part his hair.

Since then, man has come a long way. But the change is always there – dramatic and for all (especially his bachelor friends) to see.

For those who know what I'm talking about, but have not been able to put their finger exactly on what these changes might be, I list them out here for your benefit. If you're already married, then it's time for some introspection. If not, here's what will happen to you anyway, if you decide to jump into such a union, headlong:

1. You put on weight – a lot of it (no idea why this happens; it's probably due to a complex combination of various factors that we shall not go into here, for reasons of propriety).

2. Working hours become dramatically shorter, and working from home becomes suddenly more attractive than ever before (though how much work you actually do is anyone's guess).

3. The creases on the brow, even if it is a particularly young brow at that, become definitely more pronounced. Whether these creases are from worry or the seriousness imposed by new-found responsibility varies from case to case.

4. Formal wear becomes more the norm than the occasional whim.

5. Fewer – much fewer – nights out, if at all. And it's now the Chinese 'family' restaurant that replaces the bar on most Friday nights.

6. Choosing footwear for various occasions actually happens. This also means that you actually start owning more than one pair of shoes.

7. Matching shirt with trousers becomes an integral part of your daily routine. And we don't mean the same shirt and trousers every day. This may simply be because your outfit suddenly disappears when it's most needed and reappears the next day along with the rest of the laundry.

8. Your company with younger women decreases and correspondingly increases with the more senior variety.

9. You start noticing things around you more.

10. You start wearing a lot more pink.

Don't agree with these? Well, write in then and tell us all about it.