Combining cricket and sex is a pointless exercise. It simply never works. IPL cheerleaders, nudes in lad's mags holding bats and balls, cricket-themed porn sites and Brian Lara Cricket booth babes -- all have entered the game of late and all are about as sexy as KP in a thong.

Why? Becuase this is cricket -- a game for ugly men in jumpers, a game for long, drawn out boredom spotted with an occasional wicket and a hesitant fielding change. Call us bluff old traditionalists, but we don't want to see glamour models in cricket pads trying to work out which end to grab the bat.*

Asylum has therefore dived into the archives of Google Image Search to examine the history of attempts to combine cricket and sex. Feel free to review the evidence -- we think you'll agree that the two worlds of cricket and porn should be kept far, far away from each other.

Shameful Combinations of Cricket and Sex

    ZooMagazine put together this spread of cricket babes before the 2007 world cup. In their sense cricket babes are defined as any babe related to a cricketer, dating a cricketer or holding a bat. But how did cricket reach this point? When did the game of kings become a game of babes? Let's take a look back in time...

    ZooToday.com.au

    In 1910 this group of young women played cricket on the beach at Swansea. This is the first recorded game of sexy cricket we could find -- little did these girls know what they were getting us all into.

    Getty Images

    In 1932 this photographer hit on something special -- by combining a hot MILF, a dog and a cricket bat he could create the perfect storm of things that turn on gents of the depression.

    Getty Images

    In May 1934 cricketing standards took another dive as the skirt was introduced as standard uniform for a brief, but damaging, period...

    Getty Images

    The sixties saw liberation on all fronts, including the realm of cricket sexiness and novelty records.

    MFP

    Fast forward to our own era, and the discovery that Photoshopped babes can be combined with Photoshopped cricket gear.

    CKM

    As part of the promotion campaign for a recent edition of Brian Lara Cricket for the Playstation, it was decided bikini babes would do better business than the man whose name graces the cover...

    Brian Lara Cricket

    ... sadly there has never been a less convincing shot of a booth babe playing video games than this one.

    Brian Lara Cricket

    A few years ago one enterprising Australian Porn site hit on the idea of combining ladies, bikinis and cricket to sell memberships to its NSFW section.

    AustralianBikini.com.au

    Call us prudes, but we think this might be a little tacky. Alas this site has now been shut down. Not that we checked...

    AustralianBikini.com.au



*We should add that actual female cricketers are an entirely different story. They're sexy because they're brilliant at cricket, and because they're not awkwardly arranged in the buff holding a leather ball.