For a lot of guys, the gym seems like a natural place to chat up women. After all, you already know she takes care of her body, and the natural state of red-faced sweatiness makes it pretty easy to imagine her mid-coitus. Before you set out on your treadmill seduction, however here's a rule of thumb: Don't try to score when the object of your desire is in a T-shirt made see-through by her own sweat. Or spread-eagled on a thigh machine. Or grunting, however provocatively, because there's 5 stone lifted above her head.
Or if you've got any of these stunners lined up as your opener.
10. What's a little thing like you doing with a big weight like that? I'm lifting it, see? I push here, the weight goes up right there, and that's called EX-ER-CISE
9. If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me? No, but go on ...
8. I hear yoga makes a girl really flexible. My favorite pose is downward-facing douchebag.
15 Things Never to Say to a Woman
15. What did you do to your hair? If you're asking because you don't like it, it's too late. And if you're asking because you really can't tell, pay more attention!
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14. Why aren't you married? There is no right answer to this question. Either nobody's asked us, or we just don't want to be. Either way, is it any of your business?
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13. You're being irrational. To a woman, words like "irrational" and "emotional" are loaded with double meanings. You're better off choosing an adjective not loaded with sexist tripwires.
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12. Your best friend is really hot. We know she's hot, but telling us you think so is the quickest way to never see her again.
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11. Can I kiss you? Don't suck all the spontaneity out of the moment by asking, just go for it! If we're not into it, we'll let you know.
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10. You aren't one of those feminists, are you? You aren't one of those guys who enjoys sleeping on the couch, are you?
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9. You're cute when you're mad. You are not cute when you are being patronizing!
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8. That's not the way my ex did it. You're better off just avoiding the topic of ex-girlfriends in general, unless accompanied by phrases like "vastly inferior to my current girlfriend."
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7. So how old are you? Old enough to know not to ask rude questions.
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6. You sound just like your mother. Are you insulting us, or our mothers? Both? Oh, it's on.
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7. I can bench 300 lbs. That's like two of you, right? Two-and-a-half, bitch. I just did Atkins.
6. Let's warm up together on the elliptical. No thanks, but I'll let you know next time I need to borrow a tampon.
5. You should really target your glutes more. Yes, because I need body advice from the man with no neck.
4. Nice legs. What time do they open? I was planning on doing some lunges right after this, actually.
3. I'd love to be a fly on the wall in the ladies locker room. Personally, I don't get off on the sight of untamed old-lady bush half-obscured by a midriff towel, but if frontal geriatric nudity is your thing, then more power to you.
2. I've got something that will really get your heart rate up. Is it in your pants? Because if it's in your pants, the only thing that's coming up is my lunch.
1. Do you mind if I squeeze in between your sets? Oh, Captain Innuendo. If only I knew the wit my $150 enrollment fee bought me ...
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