Ah, hot waitresses. Those untouchable queens of the restaurant. Nowhere in the world are those waitresses hotter than at Hooters, the American chain of shamelessly boob-oreintated bars that, which they may not be the coolest place in the world, but it's definitely our favourite place to check out girls in shiny orange shorts. We asked K.H., the blogger behind The Hooters Girl for the top 10 things you should never say if you hope to hook up with a hot waitress.
10. "Can I have your number?"
Do you have any idea how many times waitresses are asked this question within a single shift? You're going to have to try a little bit harder than that!
9. "Is that your real name?"
What kind of a question is that? This isn't a strip club! Is "Megan" really that outlandish of a name?
8. "You're gorgeous! You should be a model!"
First of all, I'm docking you points for using that line. I recall my grandmother telling me about the boys who used that one on her. It was tired even then! Second, your waitress knows that she's hot; she is made aware of this fact dozens of times a day.
15 Things Never to Say to a Woman
15. What did you do to your hair? If you're asking because you don't like it, it's too late. And if you're asking because you really can't tell, pay more attention!
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14. Why aren't you married? There is no right answer to this question. Either nobody's asked us, or we just don't want to be. Either way, is it any of your business?
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13. You're being irrational. To a woman, words like "irrational" and "emotional" are loaded with double meanings. You're better off choosing an adjective not loaded with sexist tripwires.
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12. Your best friend is really hot. We know she's hot, but telling us you think so is the quickest way to never see her again.
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11. Can I kiss you? Don't suck all the spontaneity out of the moment by asking, just go for it! If we're not into it, we'll let you know.
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10. You aren't one of those feminists, are you? You aren't one of those guys who enjoys sleeping on the couch, are you?
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9. You're cute when you're mad. You are not cute when you are being patronizing!
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8. That's not the way my ex did it. You're better off just avoiding the topic of ex-girlfriends in general, unless accompanied by phrases like "vastly inferior to my current girlfriend."
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7. So how old are you? Old enough to know not to ask rude questions.
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6. You sound just like your mother. Are you insulting us, or our mothers? Both? Oh, it's on.
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Find out the top seven things you should never say to a Hooters girl after the jump.
7. "If a woman with large breasts works here, then where does a woman with one leg work? IHOP!" (International House of Pancakes -- a place where Americans go to eat food on top of cakes.)
Cue forced laughter and feigned amusement. Do you realise that I am told this joke at least once a week? And that it is entirely unfunny?
6. "Do you have a boyfriend? He must hate that you work here!"
Yes, I do, and no, he doesn't. You see, I have chosen to be with a man who does not suffer from the crippling insecurities that you do, nor does he possess the frighteningly high levels of jealousy and rage that you have.
5. "Do you guys do lap dances?"
Again, not a strip club. There is no pole. There are no G-strings. If you're lucky, we might dance to "YMCA" with the numerous children running around.
4. "I love a girl in shorts."
I love a guy who won't share his most perverse fetishes with a complete stranger.
3. "I'll take an order of curly fries, and a side of you!"
Ah, yes! Nothing like comparing a woman to fried food and implying that she can be purchased, while simultaneously making an unoriginal and played-out joke that she has already heard three times that day!
2. "Are those real?"
Are you an idiot? Why on Earth would you ask any woman this? It simply guarantees that you will never be given the opportunity find out!
1. "Would you sell your used pantyhose/socks to me?"
Lovely. Just lovely. Security!
More Essential Tips for Things You Should Never Say:
10 Things You Should Never Say to a Porn Star
10 Things You Should Never Say to Twins
10 Things You Should Never Say to a Short Woman
10 Things You Should Never Say to a Tall Woman
10 Things You Should Never Say to a Black Woman
10 Things You Should Never Say to a Girl at the Gym
